I've gotten desperate

No, I am not talking about the lack of adult male in my life, I actually paid the kids to clean my kitchen. I can not believe that they won't just help me out, nah, yes I can. Sometimes I just don't bother to fight because the fight is more stress than doing it myself. This week is an exception, I think they have brought home a cold to me.

I think I also have become the neighborhood taxi. I've helped out a few people more than once. Especially the smokers. The price is so ridiculous, how can they not stop?
Well I smoked for a long time so I can understand, but I have children to take care of and that is unhealthy for them and me. I wonder how much illness I could have avoided if I never had smoked.

My brief search for an adult male friend has ended flat. I had one date planned,but no deal I was ill that week. Why is it the men that seem to appreciate me are always in different countries? A turkish football player is in the championship wants to chat. A turkish man in Norway wanted to chat. I am still a big hearted complete woman, but seeing past the children and m.s. is really quite difficult.

I feel sorry for those who made snap decisions as I am one hell of a woman. I am big hearted or we wouldn't be in the position I am in now with becoming the neighborhood cab. I do wish the people would barter and help me around the house. To, do...to do oh the things I need to do. I love my children, but why does it have to be so damn hard? Well enough self pity for today. I've got what I've got and it may take a superman to love me the way I deserve.

So, my big heart gets me in trouble again. I become a neighborhood ride and take a bruise or two from potential suitors. I have to say their loss. I am great and they missed out.